Weeble (clockworksaint) wrote,

News in Brief

Acting in the wake of the death of a 6 year old child who was running with scissors, David Blunkett today announced the government's intention to push through a new "Infant Fatality Mandatory Lawmaking" bill. This will require lawmakers to introduce at least one new law for every child that dies in the British Isles.

"We can no longer continue lawmaking in the haphazard nature of the past," stated Mr Blunkett. "Thousands of children have died needlessly because the legislation that might have saved their lives was never created. This new law recognises the need to put our children's safety first, and will ensure in every tragic case that someone will be punished. Any action that leads to a child's death can only be a crime, so the need for new lawmaking is obvious. With this bill we can ensure that the children of Britain can live their lives in safety, shielded by the protection of strong laws."

Members of the opposition revealed some degree of shock. "I'm sorry, I've forgotten which party's which," said shadow home secretary, David Davis. Liberal Democrat home affairs spokesman Mark Oaten stated that the plan "would impinge civil liberties with no obvious benefit for the children in question," but the home office countered all such criticisms, saying that "every child that dies has been failed by the system; it is crucial for the children who might die this year that the bill is not waylaid by hand-wringing girly men."
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